The Rev. Jerry Falwell died today. He was a major disseminator of bigotry, hatred and ignorance, much of which was directed toward gays. He will be remembered for perverting the New Testament’s message of brotherly love and peace into one of intolerance — and for successfully turning the once-great American Protestant religion into little more than a special interest group in the Republican Party.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
Falwell’s post death experiences:
Falwell awakens from his deep slumber, still not aware of what has happened.
Falwell: “Boy, it sure is dark in here. And where in hell am i at?”
“At least it’s warm. Damn, is it warm. It’s so..” At this point, Falwell hears the sound of maniacal laughter, part human and …??
Falwell: “Damn, the heat is getting unbearable. It’s hot as …… Oh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”
Finally, our ptayers have been answered and God has called Falwell home. Now if he would only call home Pat Robertson before he gets up to any more mischief, it would truly be a banner week. Heck, it might restore my belief in the existence of a just God if, in addition to Falwell and Robertson, He would go for a trifecta and call home that rascal Donald E. Wildmon of the American Family Association, too.
Good riddance bigot! I thought he would certainly be around to stand at the helm when the “rapture” occured! He must have pissed somebody off upstairs!!!