In light of news yesterday that Vice Pres. Cheney has been diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis, or DVT, commonly known as a blod clot, we are republishing this story about his radical cardiectomy from January 2006. — Eds
Useless organ removed: According to an unidentified source at George Washington University Hospital, Vice Pres. Dick Cheney secretly underwent a radical cardiectomy Monday night. The source said the surgery began about 3:20 AM and took about 50 minutes to perform.
“It was determined that the patient had no more use for the organ,” said the source, who witnessed the removal of the vice president’s heart. “He had not used it in a long, long time. Plus, he needed to lose a little weight.”
The hospital staff member – who declined to be identified due to fear of retaliation – also took a photo of the heart (shown above) which was described as “resembling a lump of coal.”
A spokesman for the hospital, Dr. Raji Guphta, refused to comment on any medical attention given the vice president except to confirm what had been reported earlier – that Cheney experienced shortness of breath and was given an EKG at about 3:00 AM.
However, when asked if a human being can live without a heart, Dr. Guphta replied, “No.”
A senior administration official, speaking on condition of anonymity citing “fear for the lives of my children,” would neither confirm nor deny that Cheney had his heart removed.
Maybe changing the dirt in the coffin that Cheney sleeps would help.