Christian Terrorist Attempts Bombing of Assembly

Christo-facsists:

The loyalist [Protestant anti-Catholic] murderer Michael Stone forced the suspension of the inaugural meeting of Northern Ireland’s transitional assembly yesterday, when he stormed into the entrance hall of the parliament building armed with a knife, a handgun and what police said was a “viable” bomb.

The extraordinary scenes – as security staff wrestled him to the ground and politicians were evacuated into the rain – overshadowed political rows in the chamber where Ian Paisley was deemed to have signalled the Democratic Unionist party’s conditional assent to power sharing with its republican opponent Sinn Féin. Between six and eight devices were recovered after Stone’s attack. They were defused by the army’s bomb squad.

New Producer of Fox News’ Troubled Comedy Show Is Limbaugh’s Viagra Party Pal

Earlier Attempt Starring Laura Ingraham Apparently Failed

Rush Limbaugh is America’s funniest conservative, hands down. So when the Fox News Channel needed someone to produce a rightwing version of Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show,” who else would they turn to but a friend of Rush Limbaugh.

Fox has hired Joel Surnow who, besides being an FORL, is a co-creator and producer of “24.” If his name sounds familiar, it’s because he was one of three guests at Rush Limbaugh’s viagra stag party on a Caribbean island last July.

Development on the show apparently stalled earlier this year after a misbegotten attempt hosted by Laura Ingraham apparently didn’t fly. Turns out sneering at liberals isn’t funny.

For the moment, the show is titled “This Just In” (but that will change because AOL has a show with the same name). It has two hosts who are both unknowns, Susan Yeagley and Kurt Long. (Dennis Miller was busy.) She has some impressive comedy credits, including bits on “Reno 911,” and his resume includes hosting a game show and a few sitcom appearances.

Seriously though, dying is easy, comedy is hard. Mr. Surnow’s “24” is a successful, suspenseful weekly drama. But producing a daily comedy show about current events uses a different set of creative muscles.

Even with Mr. Surnow onboard, this show will never work. Conservatives can’t do satire because truth-speaking to power is abrasive to their authoritarian worldview. Conservatives can’t tell the difference between satire and sarcasm. Satire can certainly get laughs but scarcasm — as anyone who’s ever spent time around thirteen-year-olds will tell you — just ain’t funny.