Here’s Our Chance
Ebola’s a tough bug, and medically it vexes.
We want it quickly contained before it infects us.
Well, they wanted to secede,
So let’s give ’em what they need.
We think its high time we quarantined ALL of Texas.
Poetic Justice
Elon Musk is now wholly committed to the political game.
But his “America Party” and “Democrat Party” are both grammatically lame:
See, “America” is a proper noun, but not an adjective,
Whereas “American” can be either one — it’s relative.
As with “Democrat Party,” Musk is about to find out what’s in a name.
Verbatim
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“This may have been a loss for the American people, but this was a big Trump win. He continues to plow through the norms, institutions, and guardrails of government, and he will use the BBB to accelerate his momentum. … Acknowledging this is not defeatism: it’s a recognition of the challenge ahead.”
— Charlie Sykes
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“The president of the United States didn’t give us an assignment. We’re not a bunch of little bitches around here, okay? I’m a member of Congress. I represent almost 800,000 Wisconsinites.”
— Rep. Derrick Van Orden (R-WI), talking to reporters.
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“You don’t have to be a mathematical genius to know that these are horrible, horrible, horrible numbers. Washington Post, -19 points, Fox News -21 points … holy Toledo — you just never see numbers this poor … to quote Sir Charles Barkley, ‘terrible terrible terrible’ … it is one of the most unpopular pieces of legislation that I have ever seen.”
— Harry Enten