Check This List Before Addressing the Florida Legislature
We could not possibly let this one go by. When Florida Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) was scolded by Republicans for using the word “uterus” on the House floor, the push-back was inevitable. In Randolph’s words:
I always say their philosophy is small government for the big guy and big government for the little guy. And so, if my wife’s uterus was incorporated… maybe they (Republicans) would be talking about deregulating. It’s not like I used slang.
Randolph’s wife contributed the analogy, to illustrate how to get Republicans to stop trying to restrict access to abortion. Randolph said Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word.
The Democratic Underground has come up with a list of acceptable euphemisms to use around state legislative pages. We quote:
Women’s Body Parts
Uterus – Baby Bed
Vagina – Hoohoo or Cooter
Clitoris – Little Man in Boat
Crotch – Swimsuit Area
Buttocks – Cushions
Breasts – Gazongas
Ovaries – Egg Crates
Nipples – PacifiersMen’s Body Parts
Penis – Whopper or Peewee (as the case may be)
Testicles – Family Jewels
Scrotum – Jewelry Bag
Foreskin – Turtleneck
Crotch – Swimsuit Area
Buttocks – Rear End
Remember, if you’re a Republican, outlawing abortion is the decent thing to do. Discussing it like grownups is just bad taste.
