Meat Me in the Turkey Burger Aisle — in a Hazmat Suit

Sadly, it would take generous definitions of most of the nouns and verbs in that sentence for it to be accurate.

— Tom Laskawy, writing for Grist, about proposed new regulations for the handling of poultry carcasses that would depend even more heavily on chemical washing to avoid contamination. The sentence Laskawy referred to said the new regs would, “further the agency’s transformation to focus solely on public health and help address the challenge we have to reduce foodborne illness” and comes at the same time as a Consumer Reports finding that, despite the carcasses being washed in chlorine and other toxins, all 257 samples of ground turkey tested from different supermarkets showed the presence of fecal bacteria, staph, or salmonella.