Rand Paul – Pensito

Paul Says It’s Naive to Expect Iran to negotiate Now

January 7, 2020January 8, 2020 Buck Banks

“The administration tore up the Iran agreement, placed a significant, severe embargo on Iran, and then killed one of their major generals — nobody in their right mind would actually think that that would lead to negotiations. So when Secretary of State Pompeo’s out there saying, ‘Well, maximum pressure, our goal is to get them back to the negotiating table,’ no naive child would believe that, you would have to be brain-dead to believe that.”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on CNN.

Paul Calls the Russians

November 7, 2019 Buck Banks

With impeachment, it looks like Donald Trump’s heading for a fall.
And most Republicans don’t seem to be helping much at all.
But if you want to out the whistleblower,
Just turn to a rhetorical missile-thrower,
That smarmy libertarian asshole, Rand Paul.

Rand Paul Gets a (‘nother) Smack-Down

August 10, 2018August 10, 2018 Buck Banks

“Many folks think that Rand Paul can’t be beat, they’re worried he might be too well-liked. I don’t buy that. Just ask his neighbor. He can be beaten.”

— Kentucky Secretary of State Allison Lundergan Grimes (D), quoted by WHAS-TV.

His Nibs’ Ribs

November 7, 2017 Buck Banks

We’re accustomed to Rand Paul, the Libertarian jackanape,
And many’s the time we’ve been tempted to crack his adamantine pate.
But in a spat with his neighbor,
Rand’s ribs were belabored.
Not over politics, but in a trivial dispute over landscape.

Rand Paul and the Second Amendment

June 15, 2017 Buck Banks

“Why do we have a Second Amendment? It’s not to shoot deer. It’s to shoot at the government when it becomes tyrannical!”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on Twitter, June 23, 2016.

Paul: Trump Needs Congressional Authorization for Military Action

April 7, 2017 Buck Banks

“While we all condemn the atrocities in Syria, the United States was not attacked. The President needs congressional authorization for military action as required by the Constitution, and I call on him to come to Congress for a proper debate. Our prior interventions in this region have done nothing to make us safer, and Syria will be no different.”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), quoted by The Hill, after the U.S. launched airstrikes in Syria.

Charge of the Lightweight Brigade

March 3, 2017March 17, 2017 Buck Banks

Rand Paul just mounted an invasion
With media alerted to the occasion.
He charged ‘cross the Hill
To wrest free the Obamacare bill,
But ’twas gone — though Rand Paul was not chastened.

Rand Paul Has Reservations About Bolton, Giuliani

November 17, 2016 Buck Banks

I will tell you something I haven’t told anybody else. I’ve had some conversation with some other Republican senators and I’m not the only one with some misgivings over both Giuliani and Bolton. And I haven’t met a Democrat that’s for either one of them. But I’ve met several Republicans that aren’t.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), in an interview on Hardball, on who might be the next Secretary of State.

Paul’s Last Call

February 3, 2016 Buck Banks

His libertarian positions just never gained traction,
And his poll numbers could be measured in fractions.
He made his stand
In the shadow of Ayn Rand,
But now Rand Paul’s toupee is out of campaign action.

Paul Says Christie Should Resign Governorship

December 31, 2015January 1, 2016 Buck Banks

He may not even be a resident, never mind governor.

— Sen. Rand Paul, saying that Gov. Chris Christie should resign his office “because he has spent more than 200 days outside his state yet is campaigning for president based on his experience as a governor,” Politico reports.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on CNN.

“Many folks think that Rand Paul can’t be beat, they’re worried he might be too well-liked. I don’t buy that. Just ask his neighbor. He can be beaten.”

— Kentucky Secretary of State Allison Lundergan Grimes (D), quoted by WHAS-TV.

“Why do we have a Second Amendment? It’s not to shoot deer. It’s to shoot at the government when it becomes tyrannical!”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on Twitter, June 23, 2016.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), quoted by The Hill, after the U.S. launched airstrikes in Syria.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), in an interview on Hardball, on who might be the next Secretary of State.

He may not even be a resident, never mind governor.

— Sen. Rand Paul, saying that Gov. Chris Christie should resign his office “because he has spent more than 200 days outside his state yet is campaigning for president based on his experience as a governor,” Politico reports.

Poetic Justice

Verbatim

“If you’re asking me a hypothetical about whether this Republican Senate would confirm a member of the Supreme Court due to a vacancy created this year — yeah, we would fill it.”

— Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), on Fox News.

“You know, Nixon actually resigned.”

— House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler responded to President Trump’s demand to get “bad people out of our government!”

“You have to be careful about what you are watching and reading, because the media has taken sides. So if you only watch Fox News because it’s reinforcing what you believe, you are not an informed citizen.”

— Former White House chief of staff John Kelly, quoted by the Morristown Daily Record, on working for President Trump.

“Vacancies at all levels go unfilled and officers are increasingly wondering whether it is safe to express concerns about policy, even behind closed doors.”

— Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch said Wednesday that the State Department is “in trouble” and that the department is being “hollowed out,” CNN reports.

“That the Democrats are crooked … that they shouldn’t have brought impeachment and my poll numbers are 10 points higher.”

— President Trump, when asked if he learned any lessons from being impeached.

Numerati

27%

A new St. Pete Polls survey in Florida shows Michael Bloomberg leading the Democratic primary race with 27%, followed by Joe Biden at 26%, Pete Buttigieg at 11%, Bernie Sanders at 10%, Amy Klobuchar at 9% and Elizabeth Warren at 5%.

$580,600

$3.8 billion

Politico: “The surprise reprogramming of another $3.8 billion… means the Pentagon will have forked over nearly $10 billion since last year to help pay for President Trump’s border wall.”

29%

A new Morning Consult poll finds Bernie Sanders leading the Democratic presidential race nationally with 29%, followed by Joe Biden at 19%, Mike Bloomberg at 18%, Pete Buttigieg at 11%, Elizabeth Warren at 10% and Amy Klobuchar at 5%.

$60 million