With impeachment, it looks like Donald Trump’s heading for a fall.
And most Republicans don’t seem to be helping much at all.
But if you want to out the whistleblower,
Just turn to a rhetorical missile-thrower,
That smarmy libertarian asshole, Rand Paul.
“Many folks think that Rand Paul can’t be beat, they’re worried he might be too well-liked. I don’t buy that. Just ask his neighbor. He can be beaten.”
— Kentucky Secretary of State Allison Lundergan Grimes (D), quoted by WHAS-TV.
We’re accustomed to Rand Paul, the Libertarian jackanape,
And many’s the time we’ve been tempted to crack his adamantine pate.
But in a spat with his neighbor,
Rand’s ribs were belabored.
Not over politics, but in a trivial dispute over landscape.
“Why do we have a Second Amendment? It’s not to shoot deer. It’s to shoot at the government when it becomes tyrannical!”
— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on Twitter, June 23, 2016.
“While we all condemn the atrocities in Syria, the United States was not attacked. The President needs congressional authorization for military action as required by the Constitution, and I call on him to come to Congress for a proper debate. Our prior interventions in this region have done nothing to make us safer, and Syria will be no different.”
— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), quoted by The Hill, after the U.S. launched airstrikes in Syria.
Rand Paul just mounted an invasion
With media alerted to the occasion.
He charged ‘cross the Hill
To wrest free the Obamacare bill,
But ’twas gone — though Rand Paul was not chastened.
I will tell you something I haven’t told anybody else. I’ve had some conversation with some other Republican senators and I’m not the only one with some misgivings over both Giuliani and Bolton. And I haven’t met a Democrat that’s for either one of them. But I’ve met several Republicans that aren’t.
— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), in an interview on Hardball, on who might be the next Secretary of State.
His libertarian positions just never gained traction,
And his poll numbers could be measured in fractions.
He made his stand
In the shadow of Ayn Rand,
But now Rand Paul’s toupee is out of campaign action.