Think It’s Bad in Your State? Visit Florida.

Pretending you're a pirate (or a wench) is a trend that's really not working for Florida baby boomers

When you live in Florida, sometimes there’s just too much wacky to take in at one sitting. You have to just skim the surface because trying to go deeper would probably sink you.

Such is the case today, when a reading of the morning news brings so many little harbingers of doom. Read on for three examples.

  • Look out innocent sea life! You’re what we call, “collateral damage.”

    Boaters straying into restricted areas at Port Canaveral can soon expect to get a warning blast from the U.S. Coast Guard. The port is a test site for a new warning system to keep vessels out of security zones.

    Officials would first try to radio an encroaching boat and give other signals to stop. If that doesn’t work, 12-gauge shotgun ammunition can be fired into the path of a boat. The plastic and aluminum projectile ignites after about 100 yards to create a burst of light and a loud sound.

But wait, there’s more.