From the first moment he burst onto the public stage with his jazzy hands, high-pitched feminine voice and sibilant s’es, Marcus Bachmann has registered at about an 11 on a scale of one to 10 on gaydars across the nation.
Adding fuel to rumors that he is closeted is the fact that he has made his living, in part, from one of the saddest rackets around: convincing gay Christians that they can be, or need to be, “cured.”
Here’s the rule, and you can take this to the bank: Heterosexuals who are secure about their own sexuality are not obsessed with homosexuality. People who are happily straight are apathetic about the mechanics of gay sex. They do not make it their life mission to suppress gay rights. They don’t spend every waking hour figuring out new ways to oppress gay people, and they never send their families out to picket funerals with signs that say, for example, “God Hates Fags.” And, especially, they don’t try to “cure” homosexuality with “pray away the gay” schemes like Bachmann’s.
Now, in the latest gaffe in her presidential campaign, Marcus’ wife, Michele, appears to have spilled the beans about their marriage. At a town hall in Waverly, Iowa, Rep. Bachmann was questioned about marriage equality by Jane Schmidt, a high school student:
JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can’t same-sex couples get married?
BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.
Hey, it worked for her, right?