Earth Rights Itself on Its Axis as Cracker Barrel Reinstates Duck Dynasty Merch

Come home, Cracker Barrel, all's forgiven. And as Cracker Barrel's Twitter team seems to be telegraphing with its images, 'This move does not imply that Cracker Barrel is homophobic (note gay married couple playing checkers with their son) or racist (note young black child learning to fire bubble gun in preparation for the inevitable real thing someday). Whoops, obviously we didn't mean that in a racist way.'

If you have not had the misfortune to dine on the meaty, greasy, and yet somehow completely flavorless fare at a Cracker Barrel, you will not know that in order to get to the chow, you must first bob and weave through the world’s most annoying gift shop. It’s filled with overpriced America-esque junk, from made in China pewter cross pendants to made in China sock monkeys.

If you’ve never been there, you will also not have been shocked when Cracker Barrel announced, after GQ published an interview with one Phil Robertson, of Duck Dynasty fame, quoting him thusly, that it was pulling DD merchandise from its stores.