I’m not going to assert he’s insane,
But we need to make Rand Paul explain
How he’ll fulfill his intent
To become president,
By voting against aiming lasers at planes.
It seems laser pointers create danger
When pointed at a cockpit in range, sir.
But Rand Paul’s a contrarian
And an ardent Libertarian —
The gubmint can’t tell HIM where to point his laser!
She’s earned a well-deserved reputation for her snark.
She’s a momma grizz whose bite’s worse than her bark.
You can tell by her conduct
She considers herself a product,
Which is why Sarah Palin‘s been trademarked.
In Egypt, the opposition’s feeling super,
As they watch Mubarak circling the pooper.
But you’ve got to applaud his supporters
For whupping up on reporters
And beating the crap out of Anderson Cooper.
You’ve got to feel sorry for poor Dennis Kucinich.
All he wanted was a chicken wrap sandwich.
But when he took a bite, forsooth!
He hit an olive pit, cracked a tooth!
So he’s suing the cafeteria, ain’t that a bitch?
The Republicans want Romney to run.
They think his campaign would be fun.
Besides, the prediction
Is he’d win the election —
It says so in the Book of Mormon!
In sales, one must cater to one’s market.
In politics, it’s dangerous to stick to a template.
First he’s a socialist,
But now he’s a centrist —
If nothing else, Obama remains a moving target.
We all know Fox News and Glenn Beck are crazies,
Going around comparing liberals with Nazis.
Yeah, they’ve crossed the line,
And today in the Times
Murdoch caught hell from 400 rabbis.
When POTUS gives the SOTU, it could be a big hit.
Lots of folks are looking forward to hearing it.
The issues are intense,
The pressure’s immense,
But legislators are keenly focused on where they’ll sit.
Ah, Keith, we hardly knew ye,
During your tenure at MSNBC.
‘Twas that evil Murdoch
Who put your head on the block,
But in doing so did he give us a senator-to-be?
Being in Congress isn’t much fun.
Indeed, one wonders why anyone would run.
Especially considering that
Some constituents are maniacs
Who trade the voting booth for a gun.
The media says it’s all about rhetoric
And pundits whose prose style is manic.
But in the end it’s insanity
That’s lost touch with humanity,
And trades political discourse for the psychotic.
To hear Trump talk, he’s the only one
Who’s ever stood trial for crimes he’s done.
But instead of courtroom drama,
We get Trump in his pajamas,
That’s how he earned his new nickname: Don Snoreleone.
