2016 was the hottest year in 137 years of record-keeping, and the third in a row to be so noted. That and other omens are confirmed in a new report available from the American Meteorological Society called, “State of the Climate 2016.”

The report, peer-reviewed by international scientists, describes the following “highlights.”

• Greenhouse gases highest on record
• Global surface temperature highest on record
• Sea surface temperatures highest on record
• Global sea level highest on record
• Extremes in the water cycle and precipitation
• Arctic continued to warm, sea ice extent remained low
• Antarctic has record low sea ice extent
• Global ice and snow cover decline
• Tropical cyclones well above average overall

If only we could figure out what’s causing this. We know, from our own president, that actual global warming is a hoax invented by the Chinese in order to…well, we’re not sure what the point of a hoax would be, but did you know that Al Gore claims he invented the internet? What a joke! Ho ho.

Anyway, it’s not as if the report is conclusive. It’s only…

…based on contributions from scientists from around the world. It provides a detailed update on global climate indicators, notable weather events, and other data collected by environmental monitoring stations and instruments located on land, water, ice, and in space.

Puh-lease. Let me know when you have some EVIDENCE.

And anyway, probably God will take care of all this. In our 6,000 years of being a planet, He has always sent us cleansing floods or locusts or the ability to turn to salt by disobeying His command on where to look, just in the nick of time. So He will surely save us now too. And then what will all those “experts” say? Joke’s on them!

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