Florida Seeks to Distance Itself from United States of America

According to an article in today’s Miami Herald, the state of Florida sees its marketing slogan as a handicap in today’s hostile geopolitical atmosphere. Visit Florida, the state agency tasked with attracting big-butted Midwesterners and obnoxious French Cabadians to the Sunshine State, is considering dropping the “USA” from its current slogan, “FLA USA” (pronounced flawza). The reason? Guilt by geographical association.

The tourism industry is concerned that the “USA” part associates the peninsular playground with a name brand whose value in the world ain’t what it used to be, since, as recent polls have shown, most of the world hates the United States (or, more accurately, George Bush and his band of merry henchmen and the mayhem they have wrought).

William Talbert III, president of the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau, noted that President Bush had appointed long-time aide Karen Hughes to boost the country’s image in the Arab world.

”Even the president is aware our image isn’t the best in some corners of the world,” Talbert said. “The Florida brand is extraordinarily strong.”

While most involved in the complex process of selecting a new state slogan are leaning toward “Visit Florida,” Gov, Jeb Bush told WLRN Radio in Miami he thinks the phrase might be too simple.

Never ones to miss an opportunity to put in our 6 cents’ worth of creativity. and knowing what a bunch of boobs are working on this in Tallahassee, the editorial staff of Pensito Review offers these alternatives:

Visit Florida — It’s Not Really the United States, Really
Visit Florida — Uncle Jebby Says ‘Ya’ll Come On Down!’
Visit Florida — Some of Our Beaches Aren’t Contaminated with Fecal Coliform and Enteric Bacteria
Visit Florida — Yo Habla Espanol!
Visit Florida — Republica de los Plátanos
Visit Florida — Alta Cuba!
Visit Florida — It’s Not Necessarily the USA
Visit Florida — Baja America!
Visit Florida — Baja Canada!
Visit Florida — Bring Money!
Visit Florida — Because 15 Million Ohioans, Canadians and New Jerseyites Can’t All Be Wrong
Visit Florida — Where the West Nile Seems Closer
Visit Florida — It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Stupidity
Visit Florida — It’s Not Just for Hurricanes Anymore
Visit Florida in 2006 – Jeb’s Term Will Be Over
Visit Florida — Sun, Fun and a Ton of Republicans Trying to Stop It


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